The Sweet Potato Pudding Guide to Doing Hard Things
My holiday favorite is not on my super-strict Keto diet these days. However, in the past I was famous for gobbling it up! (Imagine a rich chewy casserole, cinnamon sweet with nut bites..)
My mother had a bad fall in the summer of 2014, so for Thanksgiving we made it together while she leaned on her walker and explained the old family recipe written in my grandmother’s handwriting. She also informed me she was retiring from cooking it and if I wanted it in the future I’d have to cook it myself.
What an order! I don’t enjoy cooking and so I wasn’t enthusiastic. But I accepted the recipe and filed it under “maybe”.
Thanksgiving 2015 came and went. I was asked where the delicious dish was and felt (slightly) bad not to have cooked it. I ended up making it that Christmas, and I learned some lessons in the process!
Lesson 1
Tell the Truth
The codependent impulse was to pretend I was happy to be the next cook. I wasn’t! It’s important to notice and name my feelings no matter how unconventional or embarrassing or unpopular.
NO FEELING IS WRONG.
That said, I don’t get to cling to them or use them to harm myself or others. Strong feelings will pass quickly if I let them expire instead of feeding them.
Lesson 2
Ask for Support
The recipe is in my Christmas box along with an email dated December 17, 2015 to my mother. In it, I admitted my fear and asked questions. She responded with kindness and understanding.
Do you have a few people who are trustworthy and safe to ask for support? If not, please let building that network be your next Hard Thing.
Lesson 3
Baby Steps
When doing a Hard Thing, getting started can be a huge challenge. With the sweet potato pudding, I had to give myself permission to quit the whole thing but only AFTER I’d done the next tiny step. Set a timer for 5 minutes (or less!) to make a beginning. If the next step doesn’t feel doable, cut it in half.
For example, when I went to the store to buy sweet potatoes, the only thing they had were yams! Are they the same thing? Thanks to Google, I found out they weren’t.
After buying sweet potatoes at another store, I tried to grate them. They were hard as a rock! I think I bought two more graters before I was successful.
Be sure to give yourself plenty of time. With Hard Things, it’s normal to get stuck and have big feelings. Taking breaks between Baby Steps might be necessary. Rushing and not stopping will lead to frustration and mistakes.
On the other hand, once you get started you might not want to stop! Resist this impulse, too. Make yourself rest for a few minutes every half-hour and stop for the day after a few hours. “I’ll finish this if it kills me!” is a serious red flag!
Lesson 4
Excessive Celebration
It’s important to affirm accomplishments, no matter how small or imperfect. I have a now-sober friend who said “we want a parade for paying our bills on time”! Don’t take the shaming voice seriously that tries to squash your joy. I regularly praise myself and others and find it much more motivating than the more usual harsh criticism and sarcasm.
Hooray! I did it! Awesome! Let’s Dance! Wiggle-wiggle!
What do you yearn/dream/know you need to do next? I heard someone share “you can’t eat the elephant in a day, but you have to start chewing!”
